Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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