So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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