omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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