I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize