You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
