fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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