Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
