i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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