And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
