Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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