Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize