That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
