Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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