Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
