Yo dont text me then not text me
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
