I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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