when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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