Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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