I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
