Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
