They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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