So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
