I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
