i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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