I need help removing her.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
