3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
it's like heaven, but drunker
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
