Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
