He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
