i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
