He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize