New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
