So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
