Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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