I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
