My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize