just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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