So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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