these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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