do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
