Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
