Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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