I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
