Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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