I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
