btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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