why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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