she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize