I accidentally had phone sex last night
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Randomize
