Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
