Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
