Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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