I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
