what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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