My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
