Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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