what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
