Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
