Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
