Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
