i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
