woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
