Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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