Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
