I skipped work to stalk him.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
