I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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