I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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