you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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