I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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