dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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