I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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