Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
