Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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